Bacon

Tom writing here. I have given up the ghost. Not that I am dead exactly but any ghost of a chance of resuming a weekly email has been shattered by well placed loaded diaper. Sooo... I will attempt to blog here.

Last Saturday as I made breakfast I had an unusually enlightening moment. In was near spiritual but that may be akin to blasphemy as it regarded bacon, the food wonder of the world. I was going to count my blessings but my ADD brain got stuck on the first thing, bacon. Coincidentally, I was cooking up a rasher of heaven sludge at that very moment. We will be having Bacon egg and cheese biscuits on this marvelous day. I have graduated to the thick sliced pepper bacon and have become somewhat of a Bacon snob.

Taylor would say if you love it so much, why don't you marry it. I... well... actually... um... never knew that was an option. Can you imagine. I am afraid any romance with crispy bacon would end badly.

Bacon: "you ate my arm"
Me: "well I didn't mean to"
Bacon: "What a bunch of tripe! You chowed down on my fingers and kept right on going"
Me: "But I got hungry and you so smelled good and you said you wanted to loose weight. Besides, it's not like you don't have another arm or anything."
Bacon: "Good grief man, you can't just nibble away anytime you feel like it. It's my whole bloomin' arm"
Me: "Calm down. Why don't you rest right here and get yourself back together... at least what is left of you."
Bacon: "Well, that's mighty generous of... Wait a second there buster, is that a hamburger patty? What do you have behind your back? A BUN!!!"

Right. Probably wouldn't work out. Besides, it is probably more like infatuation. Next month, I could move on to jalapenos or fried cheese or chicharone or chocolate covered rabbit poop. Although can you imagine the culinary sensation of chocolate covered bacon?

Maybe I should invent bacon perfume. Somebody has probably already thought of that and besides you could probably achieve the same thing with the pork perfection rubbed behind the ears and on the wrists... Then again, that might end badly as well... Jen: "You ate my arm!"

I found that after cooking the bacon I was full and had no appetite for the bacon, egg and cheese biscuits. On an unrelated note, it is amazing how much the whole package of bacon shrinks...

Tom